A little bit of that and this and that and a….

Ok, so I still haven’t done what I set out to do on my day off but I’m getting closer to it with each passing week. I have extremely little free time on a daily basis as I have scheduled only enough time to plow through my routine. There is no extra time for anything else unless I want to cut into my sleep schedule. I do well on 6 hours of sleep but 7 is better. Unfortunately, I don’t move fast enough when I wake up and that extra hour is imperative. Jessica, on the other hand, wants 10 hours of sleep a night. I have no idea how she sleeps that much and still has enough time to do everything. Even when I am bored and have little to do sleep is always a last option for me – she is down for a nap at almost anytime of the day. Often she insists that I join her – obviously she gets confused about who she is asking at times.

Ok, back to where I was after the first sentence – I meant to spend some of my free time volunteering at the Iraq Theater Hospital. I spent my normal gym, shower, shave time purchasing wares at the Base Exchange (east side represent!). My purchases were nothing major, in fact, most of them were things you would probably pick up at Target on the way home. But, seeing as I rarely get the opportunity to go to a store it was kinda a big deal for me. I returned the stuff to my now clean room – the other two roomates have recently departed the area – and put it away to proceed to the barber shop. I’ve never had less than a 30 minute wait in line at that place so I try to schedule it for my day off. I tend to have longer hair than most of my counterparts while keeping it within the regulations. Today I decided that I wanted to blend a little more and get a shorter haircut. Some people – back home – who happened to be named Jessica – don’t like it when my hair is cut this way but it does have its advantages. Most of the benefits are only noticed here – during a water shortage.

When I wake up on odd days (yes – they are a bit odd) I cannot take a shower because I live on the east side of the base (odd days are west side shower days). I tend to sleep on my side and I roll often – unless I’m really tired and some might mistake me for being dead or in a coma. My hair tends to stand on end – on half of my head – until I take a shower. When my hair is short the effect is barely noticeable. My hygeine practices go out the door on odd days because there is little I can do. Normally I roll to work wearing the same clothes I wore the day before because hell – I already stink so who cares about wearing the same shirt again (socks always change – you gotta take care of your feet – thanks Lt. Dan!). On odd days I only brush my teeth, shave, and use deodorant – mostly out of habit come to think of it because I’m not sure its powerful enough to make a difference. I don’t bother combing my hair or doing anything else. I really don’t give a crap. As long as I present a professional image I really don’t care what I smell like. Well – I do care but I know that there is little that I can do to change it.

Some people go to the extremes of taking the sink shower. Showers are off limits but nothing prevents people from washing their entire bodies – entire bodies – with water out of a sink. I’ve seen it quite a few times and it just makes me laugh. They have to work with the rest of our smelly asses so it really doesn’t make a difference.

Speaking of smelly asses – yes, I am rambling a bit today, I work with a MSgt who is a reservist. He has an odor problem. It is bad enough that you can smell him within 10 feet if standing in a room. If he is sitting on the bus you can tell as soon as you step foot on the bus regardless of where he is sitting. Eating near him is an adventure because the smell of rancid unwashed B.O. throws off your sense of smell and taste. I am unsure if he has the worst case of halitosis on earth – imagine someone eating two bags of garbage a day, he doesn’t believe in showering on even days with the rest of us, he doesn’t know how to clean himself, or he doesn’t believe in doing laundry. I have very little tact. I am often blunt and straightforward to the point of appearing to be rude. I want to inform him of his problem and I him to do something about it but I have a feeling he doesn’t care. I haven’t had an airman who has been the smelly kid but we deal with them as it occurs. They are below us and we can tell them what to do – when it comes to hygiene and the morale of everyone around them. Telling a senior NCO what to do is a different matter entirely. I’m not the only one that notices even though my sniffer is almost always on point – EVERYONE on night shift knows that he stinks but I don’t think anyone has done something about it yet. I want to buy some cleaning items and put it in a box with his address on it – I won’t bother sending it though the mail but I’ll give it to him as if they had just brought it from the post office. Most people open their mail at work to see what swag they received from home so I am sure he would immediately check it out. I think I would put a simple type-written note inside that said something like – “Hint hint – you are the smelly guy – now do something about it.” Harsh? maybe. Should I do it? possibly. Will I do it? probably not.

Any ideas on how to deal with the smelly guy?

Ok – thats enough rambling for now.