Archive for April, 2008

• Did someone put a sepia filter on the sun?

  Date: 2008.04.17 | Category: Life as we know it, desert | Response: 1

  We had another sand storm – joy of joys! I decided to take a quick video so that you could see exactly what I’m living in. I was wondering how bad it was during the American “Dust Bowl” – shame we didn’t have video then. Oh well

• The idiot next to me

  Date: 2008.04.16 | Category: Life as we know it, desert, rants | Response: 2

  We have the option of using headsets and talking to anyone we desire via VOIP with the computers in the internet “cafe”. Normally, I can blank out any other conversations but the guy next to me is a complete and total idiot. The person on the other end of the conversation has got to be slightly retarded. He spends most of the time explaining, in intricate detail, the most mundane and commonly known things. He has talked about how phones are great because you can call anywhere in the world (duh), he has cried about mortar attacks (whiner – there aren’t that many), and how hard it is over here (it isn’t). I’m surprised that he hasn’t yet discussed how the sun tends to heat the middle east to seasonably warmer temperatures due to its proximity to the equator. Maybe after that he’ll talk about how consuming water will keep you alive. If nothing else, he might talk about how dropping heavy objects on your foot can be painful.

  If there were justice someone – me maybe – would punch him in the back of the skull and tell him to think before he utters another word. Maybe I’m in a bad mood, maybe I sound like this on the phone – but, then again, this guy could be the biggest tool in Iraq. No, let me take that back – he is more than a tool, more than a tool box, more than a tool shed. I think this guy qualifies as a tool emporium.

  Odds are is that he is an officer – oh well

• Fabulous Las Vegas

  Date: 2008.04.14 | Category: I was too lazy to organize these | Response: 0

  Well, this past Tuesday I celebrated my 21st birthday in the original City of Sin, Las Vegas Nevada. It was awesome. We left for the air port on Tuesday morning about 5 a.m. We hoped on a plane and landed about 10:15 a.m. After getting our baggage, my parents paid for a limo to take us to our Hotel, the New York New York. It was amazing, we checked in, got our rooms, freshened up and went out to play.

  We had some lunch in the hotel, a slice of New York pizza, and then Jeff bought me my first drink. The Bar tender saw it was my birthday so he made me a Purple Hooter shot for free, to go with my Vodka Cran. It was awesome. My parents split off from there and Leanne, Jeff, Rachel and I went to explore. We went to the MGM and looked around. That’s where we found Fat Tuesdays and got ourselves some more drinks. We had cherry bombs too, which were maraschino cherries soaked in Everclear. I was drunk, and it was awesome. We then walked around and did some gambling and got more free shots. It was great.

  We went back to the room and passed out for a few hours then went to dinner at Gallagher’s Steakhouse and ate the best steaks ever. Leanne ended up getting sick so she didn’t get to join us. It was an amazing dinner. Then Jeff took Rachel and I on a guided tour of the Las Vegas Strip which was awesome.

  The next day we got up and did a bit of slot machine play but didn’t win much. We walked down the strip again with Leanne and Jeff and we went into some awesomely amazing casinos. I kept drinkin and I kept havin a good time! I won $60 on slot machines at the Monte Carlo which was way cool and made me happy.

  That evening we ended up going out the the Mandalay Bay to see the sharks. We got all the way there and the sharks were closed for a private event and we were pissed. So we decided to head back to the New York New York. When we entered they were giving away free passes for Coyote Ugly. People had told us that we had to be dressed up and wait in line for hours to get in, so we didn’t really think too much of it. When we walked by Coyote Ugly it was loud and no line. We said what the hell and went on it. It was filled with men and 4 girls standing on the bar with lame attempts of dancing. We decided to head over to the bar and get a drink, then head out.

  The head Coyote came on the microphone and gave a big speech something like “ladies this is your bar, I’ll give you a free shot, come dance, let go of your man’s balls and get UP HERE!” Just then Leanne points and says “IT’S HER 21ST BIRTHDAY” she said I had no choice and took Rachel and I on to the bar. We danced for one song and when I went to leave she grabbed me, took me out onto center stage. She announced who I was, that it was my birthday, and told me to get down on my knees. I obliged and she took a bottle of booze and poured it down my throat. Wow, this lead to about an hour more of drinking and dancing on the bar. It was a blast. Then we walked down to the Bellagio to see the fountains but they were $100 bill at a $5 21 table and met a new friend ( Eric, his wife is a physical therapist) and we played for 5 hours. It was awesome. I met a hooker in the bathroom and that was just as awesome.

  The last day we didn’t do much, I was wicked hungover so we just walked the strip again. I had a great time. I went to the oxygen bar, which killed my handover, it was wonderful! My parents were awesome for taking us and for another birthday present, they paid off my car and it’s now all mine. Leanne and Jeff were amazing too, with Rachel and all I had the best 21st birthday ever!

  Here are some pictures for your enjoyment!

• That girl of mine

  Date: 2008.04.14 | Category: Life as we know it, photos | Response: 0

  I have never been one to share – some things I share freely – others I hoard. For example, I will only loan a DVD to someone else if I know where they live because I’ve seen some of mine run away in the past. I’ll share food freely if you happen to drop by – I like to cook and I’m willing to use any random person that drops by as a guinea pig.

  I’ve never really shared any space on my website – until now. Jessica has added some of her own photos from her trip to Las Vegas in the gallery. I turned on comments because she digs the comment love – I haven’t been able to get them working yet – if they aren’t available know that I’m working on sorting out the bugs. She had fun – alcohol fueled fun – while in the city of sin.
  admin edit – gallery link removed
  Wish I could have been there – oh well – less than a month left.

• Sometimes you’ve just gotta share

  Date: 2008.04.10 | Category: links! | Response: 0

  Jessica added White Coat Rants to her blog roll a few weeks ago and spoke highly of its merits. I hadn’t checked it out until tonight – and I was blown away by one of the posts on the front page.

  The blog is written by an ER doc – and is chock full of real life experiences. The post that caught my attention was about a girl who came to the ER at 3AM for constipation – and gave birth to a baby. The story doesn’t end well but its an extremely interesting story.

  If nothing else, its a good time killer.

• Images of Iraq

  Date: 2008.04.10 | Category: Life as we know it, desert, photos | Response: 0

  I’ve uploaded some photos that I’ve either taken or acquired from here or there and I’ve posted them in the gallery. Feel free to check them out if so inclined.

  Here are a few from the gallery

  admin edit – photos removed

  This is not from an explosion, rather, its from the trash fire that I drive through every day. It does a number on your allergies and lungs – who would have thought?

• Blatant Self Promotion

  Date: 2008.04.09 | Category: links!, videos | Response: 0

  I had a little free time tonight and wrote an article at How I loathe thee – feel free to check it out.

  I wish I had something else…. hmm… here’s the Improv Everywhere video I mentioned earlier today. Enjoy!

  
  

• The status of Iraq

  Date: 2008.04.09 | Category: ahh the news, desert | Response: 0

  The current situation in Iraq has been under intense scrutiny and debate for some time. We find it ever more in the spotlight as the democrats and republicans use it against each other for political gain. General Petraeus recently gave testimony to the Armed Services Committee and provided them with this slide. I haven’t had a chance to read through the transcript and frankly I don’t care – what concerns me is the information in the slide.

• Slide 2 – Attacks have evened out – to levels we were experiencing in Oct 2004
• Slide 3 – Deaths, both military and civilian, are at levels close to those of Jan 2006
• Slide 4 – Ethno-sectarian violence in Baghdad is at the lowest levels since May 2006 (the limit of the chart we are given)
• Slide 5 – High level attacks roughly match the levels found from May 2006
• Slide 7 – We are on pace to discover and clear 30-40% more weapons than any time in the past
• Slide 8 – Insurgent strongholds have shrunk considerably since December 2006.
• Slide 10 – Most of the nation is under or will be under Iraqi provincial control by the end of 2008
• Slide 11 – The Iraqi police and Army forces should be have significantly more operational Battalions by the end of 2008

The slide does paint a rosy picture – but – as we all know – its not that rosy. The Iraqis really need to man up and take this country over. The longer they squabble over power the more detrimental it will be to their long term prosperity. The charts do not give the entire picture as they only provide a limited time line. We’ve been here for 5 years – I want to see the charts for the entire time on the ground.

Unfortunately, the US military presence will continue until the politicians can come to an agreement. Even after the government begins to function and corruption decreases (which I hope it will) the Iraqis will continue to rely on the US military to do things they cannot – Intelligence, Surveillance, and Reconnaissance (ISR), Combat Search and Rescue, Logistical Support, and Air power.

As bad as I want to see our guys out of the fight – things could fall apart quickly without our help. I just don’t think they are ready despite continued progress – I wonder how longs its going to be before we are done. Waiting sucks – it really does. Its a shame we can’t get the Iraqi government to subcontract our role in their country. How cool would that be? Don’t let them pay us – have them pay Black water, KBR, or whomever they wish. They could regulate and control the situation to their desire until their own military and police forces can handle the country as a whole.

• Odd items that should keep you entertained for a few minutes

  Date: 2008.04.09 | Category: ahh the news, links! | Response: 0

  Are you lonely and seeking a spouse? Have you tried blind dates, dating websites, and Russian mail order brides to no avail? Your time searching is over – grab the oldest mass produced book in the world for a little inspiration – you may have to dig a little for it but the answers are there. Check out this gem from the guide on Old Testament ways to get a wife -

  Cut 200 foreskins off of your future father-in-law’s enemies and get his daughter for a wife -David (I Samuel 18:27)

  I was curious to see if the author had twisted the words around to make things funnier – he wasn’t far from the truth. I referenced a NIV copy and found that their version was

  David and his men went out and killed two hundred Philistines. He brought their foreskins and presented the full number to the king so that he might become the king’s son-in-law. Then Saul gave him his daughter Michal in marriage.

  Odd – follow the link for more

  For some inexplicable reason Dick Cheney is going to receive Secret Service protection after he leaves office. Current legislation only allows protection for the VP if congress passes a joint resolution or by order of a presidential directive. Odd… follow the link (and then the link inside to the Washington Post article) for more

  Are you tired of our choices for President? Where in the world did we find some of these guys – take Mike Gravel for instance (already dropped out). Wouldn’t it be great if we wrote legislation requiring minimum standards for a president? Scott Adams (Dilbert author) believes so and has written a short list of minimum requirements. Check it out on his blog.

  I’ve mentioned Improv Everywhere before and they’ve done it yet again – this time by giving some kids at a little league baseball game the time of their lives. A few months ago they staged a pantless subway ride that took place across the nation – funny pictures and even funnier video. Its underwear – get over it.

• The Writer’s Strike

  Date: 2008.04.07 | Category: videos | Response: 0

  Most of you suffered through the television writers strike – that is, if you’re the type of person that watches television. Late night shows were struck hard as they had to rely on the creativity of the host to get some laughs. One of my favorite late night hosts is Conan O’Brien – he’s just silly – and he makes me laugh. I can’t give you an overall synopsis of the writing during the writer’s strike because I simply don’t know. But, I can show you this clip because there was some comedy gold during the strike. Watch, enjoy, and laugh.