Scottish humor

Date: 2007.09.18 | Category: I was too lazy to organize these | Response: 0

Found this while killing time at work – no, I’m not lazy its just that our shop is tore to pieces and I can’t do any of the work I need to do over there. Why is it tore up? We’re getting new carpet and all of our stuff is cram packed into the maintenance bays. So, I’m hanging out at control for the evening.

Canadian humorist Stephen Leacock once offered some humorous observations about the use of whisky as part of Scottish culture: “The Scots do not drink. During the whole of two or three pleasant weeks spent lecturing in Scotland, I never on any occasions saw whisky made use of as a beverage. I have seen people take it, of course, as a medicine, or as a precaution against illness, or as a wise offset against a rather treacherous climate; but as a beverage, never.”

Leacock continued: “There are seventeen reasons advanced in Scotland for taking whisky. They run as follows: Reason one, because it is raining. Two, because it is not raining. Three, because you are just going out into the weather. Four, because you have just come in from the weather. Five; no, I forget the ones that come after that. But I remember that reason number seventeen is ‘because it canna do ye any harm.’ On the whole, reason seventeen is the best.” Leacock concluded that Scots make use of whisky with dignity and without shame–and they never call it alcohol.

You can read more right here

Bored and broke

Date: 2007.09.17 | Category: I was too lazy to organize these | Response: 1

Its so hard to stay conveniently occupied and entertained and keep money in the bank account. As it stands now I’m on the edge of broke; but, I’m not completely broke so I still have a little bit of breathing room. The new job is going to help out a bunch and I may catch an extra couple of shifts much to the chagrin of Jessica. I need this money and I need to get ahead of things. If I work as little as 20 hours a week I’ll net a few hundred extra a month and it gets me out of hot water immediately. I’m not late on anything right now but if I went another month this way I’d be forced to start doing something drastic like selling plasma or becoming a male prostitute. I really don’t want to become a male prostitute for a few reasons (who else has time to think this out? ) – the clientèle I would draw would be much like the women that Rob Schneider attracted in Deuce Biggalo, the STD’s would be a huge drawback, the military would probably imprison me for trying (thus exacerbating the lack of income), and it would drive Jessica away (again, another bad thing). I could start selling my plasma to make a few bucks here and there but it freakin hurts. I had a friend in HS whose sole source of income was from the plasma he harvested from his body. I’m waiting to go to the desert because I can stop paying for a two giant money killers: rent and food. Both are paid for in the desert and I can take that cash and throw it on a bill. Hopefully, I’ll be down one credit card by the time I get back. If I’m good I’ll be able to get one partially gone before I leave.

It sucks being broke but its nobody’s fault but my own. I’m stupid for doing it and I hope to hell I’ll figure out how dumb I’ve been and never repeat my mistake.

Boredom is synonymous with a lack of creativity and lack of cash flow. There are very few things I can do that take absolutely no money. Think about it – if you want to go somewhere you’ve got to drive and use gas – even if you spend nothing while there you’re out the gas. Unfortunately if you’re gone for long enough you’ll need to bring some food. Sure, you’ve got some stuff in your house that you can bring with you but thats the stuff you bought for lunches during the week. The other option is to eat on the road and spend cash that you didn’t want to spend in the first place.

So, if you’ve got some extremely low cost ideas on how to spend your off duty time let me know – you can only watch TV and goof around on the internet so much – both of which cost money – before you’ve run the gamut and need to find something else to do.

Gee – this was quite a long rambling post – it saved me from boredom for a few minutes but its a solo activity and left out somebody thats sitting on the couch begging for my attention

The 10th Dimension – simplified for simple people like me

Date: 2007.09.17 | Category: I was too lazy to organize these | Response: 0

I've Been Tagged

Date: 2007.09.12 | Category: family | Response: 0

I’ve been tagged by Swamp Goddess to share with you 10 things to share with you. Either random facts, goals or secrets. It doesn’t matter really what they are, just things to share with the world.

1. I love old movies. Casablanca, Love Story, Gone with the Wind, My Fair Lady, and Gentlemen Prefer Blonds are just a few of my most favorites.

2.  I am full of random and useless facts about stuff. I love to share them at the mos random of times too.  I am not really sure where I pick it all up at. All I know is that the weirder they are, the better the chance I will remember it is.

3.  I love the water.  I can’t imagine living someplace where I had anything more than a 2 hr drive to get to the water. I love the smell of the salt water, I love the look. To me, it’s the greatest creation on this Earth.

4.  I have Irritable Bowel Syndrome and it’s the worst thing in the world. It causes so many problems that a girl isn’t suppose to deal with ever. I can’t eat half the things that I want to anymore. Greasy foods, and fatty foods make me sick so I can’t eat them anymore, and all I’ve done since i’ve stopped eating them is gain weight.

5.  Someday when I retire, I want to own my own tanning salon.

6.  It may have taken me 20 years, but I finally figured out that my sister is one of the best friends I will ever have. And I couldn’t be happier about who she is going to marry.

7. I have never been more motivated to finish school as I am not that I know people out there will want to hire me. With the experience I have, confidence I’ve gained, and the skills that I have mastered, I know someone will be willing to take me on as their lab tech.

 8. My family has done a lot of me and I would not have the great life I have now without their constant support of my life. They are the best family anyone can ask for, and I am lucky that they are mine.

9. If I’m ever having a bad day for any reason, I can take a bath with bubbles and candles and my bad mood vanish. It’s magic and I use it as often as possible.

10. I love to be touched. I love hugs, foot massages, cuddles, snuggles, and just general touch. It makes me feel close to people. I can’t explain it really, I have just always been that way since I was a tiny little girl sugglin’ with her mommy and daddy on the couch.

I Tag you. You are next. Share your 10 facts of life with your readers.

Another yob

Date: 2007.09.12 | Category: I was too lazy to organize these | Response: 0

I got another yob, this time at a pizza place thats right down the road. If traffic is bad I’m looking at a ghastly 10 minute drive. Dang, that sure will suck. Hopefully this job doesn’t cause me to gain more weight because the menu sure as heck looks good.

(if you’re wondering why I spelled job “yob” you probably haven’t seen “Fun with Dick and Jane” or watched a bunch of the Carlos Mencia show

A couple of links

Date: 2007.09.12 | Category: I was too lazy to organize these | Response: 0

2:04 in the AM and I’ve been browsing the internet to kill some time. Lets face it, I don’t have that much work to do at this time of the night and I’m essentially keeping a seat warm until they call me to do some work… if they call me to do some work.

So…

First off, I found this cool website called the The Consumerist. Its got a bunch of cool info and interesting stories. I spent half an hour just reading the front page and found it all extremely interesting. Good stuff maynard.

I also found an interesting link to a Super Hero supply store in NYC. In reality its a nonprofit program to help kids to homework. Check out the pics, its quite cool.

I also found a page listing 10 photos that were “taken at the right time.” Check it out if you’ve got the free time like i do.

Burning salt water? Say it can’t be so… well, according to this article its been done and now they are researching whether they can create a net energy gain.

Something I’ve known for years is that Subway is an evil corporation that should be destroyed… and one franchise is up to no good. Not all franchises would do this but I would imagine that they do much worse things like grind up rats and turn them into “lunch meat” for the cold cut combo or something equally devious.

And one last link… a very somber link at that recounts the tales of people that were at Disney Land on 9-11. I still remember to this day exactly what happened and I know that I was working a relatively normal job at that time. Its just nuts to think what would happen at some other jobs.

Batman by Dostoyevsky

Date: 2007.09.11 | Category: I was too lazy to organize these | Response: 0

What if Dostoyevsky wrote Batman comics? Wouldn’t that be a bit weird? Well, someone dug up a Batman comic that covered the the plot of Crime and Punishment… Its actually kinda cool. Check it out if you’re bored… I sure as heck was

Batman by Dostoyevsky

Electoral votes of popularity

Date: 2007.09.11 | Category: I was too lazy to organize these | Response: 0

It’s about 4AM and I’m extremely tired. I’ve had a few bouts of almost passing out but I’ve been doing my best to keep my mind and body busy. If I sit still for too long I know that I’ll be a goner in no time. So, why am I up at 4AM? I’m working the 11PM-7AM shift for the next two weeks to cover a gap in coverage. The guy that normally works this shift is having oral surgery and that pretty much puts him out of commission for a week.

By now you might be wondering why I titled this post “Electoral votes of popularity”… well, there is a reason. I was obviously bored so I started to look at my Google Analytics account and I looked at the historical data. A map view of visitors is available so that you can find out where most of your visitors come from. The data is skewed because I visit my site to make updates more often than regular visitors come to read. In other words, I am probably the biggest visitor of my own site (such is my life). So, what does this have to do with electoral votes? Well, based on the map I wouldn’t get a single vote out of 8 states while the rest i have covered. Louisiana, Arkansas, Tennessee, West Virginia, Conneticut, Rhode Island, Vermont, and New Hampshire users shun my website and refuse to visit. The first few states probably have no users smart enough to turn on a computer or still have no infrastructure to hook a computer into (as in the case of Louisiana – thanks Katrina!). The rest… well, I’m not sure why the NE US finds me contrite.

But here I am, calling them out to visit me…. bunch of freaking punks.

choices are hard

Date: 2007.09.10 | Category: work | Response: 0

Well, summer break is over and it’s back to school for me. This brings a bit more stress on me than normal. I have this wonderful internship that is putting my foot in the door of a great company. However, I have much more work at school to do. I wanted to be done with school by the end of May. In Order for me to do this, I will have to give up the internship, go to school full time, and pick up another part time job.

I do not want to let Weyerhaeuser down. I have job responsibility to them and I do not want to just drop out. I do want to finish school as soon as possible though. This kind of sucks but the sooner I get a real job and heath care, the sooner I can move into my own place and start that life of my own. I am just really torn at this point.

Another factor is the part time job. I’m sure I could go back to Target but my pride would be bruised. I am also not going to be paid what the internship was paying me, which means I will have to work a lot harder to get the same amount of money.

Blah, growing up is stressful.

The MPAA sucks

Date: 2007.09.10 | Category: I was too lazy to organize these | Response: 0

Great parody!