Kingsquared

I hate the band Nickleback. They represent everything I hate in “commercial” rock music. Their songs are laughable… and now someone has made me laugh at their interpretation of a nickleback song. If I could change one thing – the singer would be sitting on a toilet trying to squeeze out a turd while singing this song – thats how I imagine every nickleback concert – with the lead singer sitting on a toilet and trying to sing while constipated.

Due to the federal holiday I am not required to be at work so I’ve got a few things planned. I’m heading to an animal shelter to check out a dog that needs a home. We’re hoping that we can provide that home. We’ll see how it goes in time. They want all other dogs to meet the one you’re planning on adopting. This is no big deal – the big deal is that the shelter is over an hour away. So, if for some reason it doesn’t work out Duke is going to have a long and boring day in the car ahead of him. I’ve got a few other “projects” that require my time. Unfortunately, its little too cold outside to finish one or two of them. I have the appropriate clothing but a specific temperature range is required to finish something. If it warms up before noon I’ll be in business. If not, well, time will tell.

Jessica, on the other hand, is at work today and wishes she could be with me. On top of that, she didn’t wake up at the right time this morning so she is working on a massive energy drink. I hope that her heart doesn’t explode at some point.

Our 2nd annual Halloween party was another smashing success. Almost everyone that came to drink ended up getting smashed. Jessica’s entire family showed up this year complete with an RV to make Joe’s costume seem that much more authentic. (see the photo below and think of Chevy Chase movies) We have a bunch of leftover beer and I’m not sure that I can get through it all by the time I leave at the end of this year. I’m just glad that we didn’t run out.

The beer choices weren’t particularly good because we decided to go with recession inspired beer choices – everything had to come in a can. The choices were Coors Light, Keystone Light, MGD, Busch Light, Olympia, Schmidt, PBR, Miller High Life, and my favorite Hamms. All were bottom end beers but it didn’t hamper anyones view of the party. As with last year, I was amazed at how quickly our house filled to capacity. We need a bigger place if we keep on throwing parties like this. It was a blast and Jessica can’t wait until next year – I can – we still haven’t got the place cleaned up.

There are two pieces of furniture in my parents house that I “helped” my dad put together. Each piece we designed, assembled and finished. With all of that “knowledge” I thought that it would be relatively easy to build two benches and refinish and old table. How wrong I was.

So far I’ve stained on of the two benches and the results were…. bad. I didn’t like it but I “thought” that it might dry a little bit lighter. It didn’t. I brought in QA and she didn’t like the results either. Tomorrow I’ve got to figure out how to remove the varnish without hours and hours of sanding. I did buy some varnish stripper but I don’t think I can get rid of it all without some sanding. I’m worried that when I put on the new varnish it won’t match the as yet unvarnished other bench. The table, made of slightly different pine is bound to not match colors either… this is difficult. I want it to be perfect – it isn’t yet.

The table has brought its own set of challenges. The biggest challenge was removing all of the old stain and defects in the wood. I decided to fix the wood by removing the wood. There is a six inch patch on the top where I was slightly over zealous with a belt sander. After some research I decided to fill the patch with wood filler and sand it smooth. My next step will be to “draw” in the wood grain. Hopefully when stained it will be convincing enough. I thought about removing the piece of wood in the table top but I don’t have the skills to do so.

I’ve got all day to work on it… hopefully it goes well.

For nine years I have been sporadically working on acquiring a single piece of paper. As of Thursday, I have finally earned my associates degree. While I don’t technically have the degree because they only award them twice a year and I’m in the middle of the window I still have all the required credits. I can only hope that the the remaining credits that are needed for a bachelors degree don’t take another nine years to attain.

I’m in my final math class for my associates degree and the equation above makes perfect sense to me. As a self proclaimed hater of math I somehow enjoy knowing what that equation means. I can actually visualize the graph of that parabola. I actually enjoy this class enough that I am going to take the next one in the series. Sure, its freshman level college algebra but I understand it – and – I think I’m proud of myself.

I’ll be done with the second math class before I deploy at the end of the year so the timing is going to work out quite well. Before I leave I’ll be sure to register for a few online classes and try and knock out as many credits as I can while I’m deployed. I should have “oodles” of free time on my hands so I might as well be productive. I doubt that I’ll move on to calculus but I know that I will take statistics. Hooray for school! Hooray for learning!

We went out to lunch today and when we came home I found a new face in our driveway. It was a Border Collie mix who was hanging out with our dogs by the fence. I quickly closed the gate and attempted to grab him. He was reluctant to be caught but after about 25 minutes John and I were able to grab him. We didn’t want him running out onto the busy street so I put a leash on him and just hung out with him for a little bit. John got on the phone with the vet to see if they did micro chip scanning. I tried to give him some water and cookies but he wasn’t interested. He had a collar on but no ID at all. His collar was hanging off of him so I adjusted it and he didn’t seem to mind. He was very sweet and knew basic commands so I figured he was someones pet. I called him Carl.

We went to the vet and they scanned him but couldn’t find anything. He was about 45lbs, intact, and covered in fleas so we purchased some advantage flea killer and applied it right away. John and I talked about it and we came to the decision that we wouldn’t be able to keep him ( for many various reasons) so we decided to take him to the Humane Society.

While we were there we saw quite a few people bringing in stray cats, one other stray dog, and a woman with a lab. This is the reason I HATE going to the humane society. This woman was in her mid 50s and the dog was 22 months old. The dog was friendly with people and the other dogs that were in there. She was dropping him off because she didn’t want to deal with him anymore…. I started to cry right then and there. John was trying to be nice but I’m sure he thought I was going crazy. Why would you get a pet if you had no intention of meeting it’s basic needs? Why would you get a pet if it’s a hassle to feed it, play with it, or keep it’s environment habitable? I was so upset. It’s not fair for animals who get really shitty owners. I’m sure the lab “Captain”  will find a great home maybe with kids who will throw the ball all day for him but it just makes me sad.

So we left “Carl” as I called him at the shelter. I just checked the humane society website and saw that they have him up there under lost pets already. I hope that he clears all of his tests and finds a nice family. I hope I saved his life and gave  him a chance for a good home. Good luck Carl!

http://www.thehumanesociety.org/pet_seekers_strays.php

On Saturday I woke up feeling like death warmed over. Jessica started feeling like garbage on Sunday morning. Since that time, we haven’t been able to do much. Sure, we scrounge for some food and leave the house to get the necessary supplies but we have to trade turns with the walker/shopping cart that we both cling to for support. We’re both fairly active people and having the stamina of a half drowned cow is really starting to get on our nerves. We may have all of the ambition in the world but we don’t have the strength to get anything done. When was the last time you felt winded when you went to get your mail? (If you’re over the age of 65 that question doesn’t apply.)

We went to lunch (courtesy of Jessica’s parents) and slept for most of the day. Yes, that’s about as exciting as it has been around here. We were planning on a BBQ but we postponed until the quarantine has been lifted. My sister is headed out next week so I can only hope that we rid ourselves of the funk – my sister would probably hold it against me if she flew across the country and I ended getting her sick. She doesn’t like to be sick – and I don’t want to die.

Over the weekend Jessica and I traveled across the country to mess with my parents and attend Grant and Sheena’s wedding. The second part of that sentence probably made sense but the first part should have you asking questions – let me divulge the details.

We’ve been planning on attending their wedding for more than six months but I thought it would be hilarious if I could surprise my parents by simply “running into them.” My sister and I were in cahoots on the operation and I think it was an overwhelming success. Weeks ago my sister found out that my parents were planning on going to the state fair. She coerced them into changing their plans so that she could “go with them.” Little did they know that I was planning on meeting them there. Through a series of text messages we coordinated the surprise. I knew that they were planning on parking at SE Polk H.S. so we arrived early and sat waiting in ambush. There was a shuttle bus that provided easy transport to and from the fair for only a few dollars. We ended up parking in the same row and as they walked by I stepped out and said “hey, what are you doing here?”

Watching shock, confusion, and realization on someones face is quite a bit of fun. I found out later that my dad thought someone called him old man and he didn’t recognize the voice – when he saw me he really didn’t know what to say. In fact, it took him an entire bus ride to the fair before he could comprehend the whole thing. The weather wasn’t cooperating with us on our trip and we ended up leaving during the middle of a rain shower in the early afternoon. Jessica, a lifelong Washington resident, was the only one that really appreciated the rain.

Rain shower at the Iowa state fair

My parents headed home for the day and Jessica and I drove around Des Moines for a bit looking for something to do. A while later the rain cleared up and we decided to head back to the fair. We hadn’t thought about returning to the fair so we had forgot about getting wrist stamps. I had to sweet talk the ladies at the gate when I showed them our ticket stubs and they relented and let us back in. We stopped at the petting zoo on our way through the gate after getting some chocolate covered bacon. If you like chocolate and you like bacon you’ll love the combination.

Mmmmmm bacon and chocolate.... on a stick

I didn’t want to go to the petting zoo because it meant facing my fears. Many years ago… lets say about 16 years ago, I started my visit to the fair by walking through the petting zoo. All sorts of animals were inside and all was glorious and wonderful. That is, until I met the llama. I started to pet the llama and it decided to thank me by sneezing (or spitting) all over me. Lets say that I wasn’t a fan llamas from this point on.

I had to face my fears this time around…. damn llamas.

Damn llamas

Jessica stopped a few places to grab food on a stick (there are over 50 types) while on our way to a hall full of merchants.

Mmm.. food on a stick

As soon as we walked though the door I saw someone I recognized – granny. For those not in the know, I am the only person on the planet that calls her granny. I point her out to Jessica and tell her to watch this. I yell out “Hey granny!” and spent the next minute laughing at her reaction. This was one of the few rare instances in the history of her life where she had nothing to say. I thought she had actually unhinged her jaw because it nearly hit the floor. After she recovered enough to speak the first words out of her mouth to Jessica were “let me see the ring.” We all laughed. I love that lady.

The wedding, the primary focus of the trip, was fantastic as I got to see many friends I hadn’t seen in years. It was also nice to see two of my best friends finally get married – after almost 9 years.