Posts Tagged ‘Ammo’

• The cassette tape effect

  Date: 2010.03.30 | Category: desert, work | Response: 0

  In the first of many instances of dating myself, I’m using a metaphor for cassette tapes as my post title. What in the world is he going to be talking about? Read on intrepid explorer of the internet.

  Years ago I had a cassette player and I would listen to tapes for hours on end. For quite some time I borrowed my parents but one year I received my own – it was an upgraded model and had an auto reverse. I would listen to the same tapes repeatedly until the material started to warp. After a while the batteries would wear down and everything would start to get comically funny as the motors would run out of juice. The tape would slow down until it eventually stopped.

  Time feels like that cassette player on its last bit of juice – it is dragging. We’ve powered through most of our work and I’m digging for something to keep me occupied. Yes, I still have a little bit to go in each of my classes but its hard to study without break throughout the day. I need something to break up the monotony. We joke about it all the time and we’re sure that a bunch of work will be dumped upon us at any moment. I’m waiting for that moment – I’m waiting for those batteries in my cassette player to be replaced…. still waiting….. and waiting…

• Award Winning Stupid

  Date: 2010.03.23 | Category: desert, rants, shenanigans, work | Response: 0

  I work for three stupid people. They aren’t any brand of stupid, they are award winning stupid. I’ll refer to them as R, S, and O. (they might search the inter webs thus the anonymity).

  O wants everything done immediately and doesn’t understand that we cannot do everything at once. He screams mission at all times.

  S is a complete and total tool. He doesn’t have a clue as to what is going on and spends an overwhelming majority of his time up O’s ass.

  R has a standard answer for everything. Mission. He fails to realize that there are competent people in his workforce that are capable of running their own operation. They will break when necessary and do what they must to complete their work on time. They do not have the time available to take two hour lunch breaks that leave anywhere from 5-40 minutes late. They do not have the time to wait while everyone else wastes time. They want to leave, eat, pick up documents, and return. They can do all of this in less than an hour.

  R and S saw us at lunch and didn’t think that we could be competent people so they mandated that we take the bus. Starting tomorrow we will simply lock the doors at lunch time and all go. If it takes two hours it takes two hours. When we return, we can take our vehicle on a 35 minute round trip so pick up documents. So – for the people that scream mission – they’ve mandated that we waste 1 hour and 35 minutes.

  Award winning stupid… I can’t wait to be done with this career field. The smart ones leave and the morons are left behind. Miraculously they make rank… and their names are O, S, and R.

• This isn’t the Hilton

  Date: 2010.01.20 | Category: desert | Response: 2

  This place isn’t the Hilton, Sheraton, or Best Western. Think of it as a scattered Motel 6… that sublets your room to other people.

  I wish were sleeping in tents. Really, I wish we had tents instead of containerized housing units. First and foremost, I could have some privacy as its fairly easy to segment off a section of a room so that it is yours. This space belongs to you day or night. There is nobody else sleeping in there when you have your day off. You don’t feel bad when you need to go into your room and grab something. The guy that works nights (and who happens to be sleeping) is by far the lightest sleeper I have ever come across. I sleep through almost everything – people banging around in the room, lights getting turned on, controlled detonations by EOD, and fighter jets screaming down the runway.

  Sure, the heating/cooling system in a tent isn’t entirely optimal but the tent does have the opportunity to breath a little. The night sleeper likes to turn off the air during the day and get the room nice and cozy… and he likes to make it smell like warm human ass. That smell you notice from the unwashed masses at your local dollar store or Walmart – yep, that’s the smell I’m talking about.

  Oh well, at least they feed me well and the only thing I have to complain about it a slightly smelly light sleeper.

  I’m doing a slightly different job this time around and everything has been new for me – new is good – new is distracting. I’m working in the inspection section so if it comes in or goes out of the bomb dump I get my hands on it. We are the nexus of the bomb dump.

  The term bomb dump sounds terrible to people that directly dissect the words. Its not like a garbage dump where things are left randomly. We have a collection of warehouses, pads, revetments, and buildings where assets are stored in a neat and orderly fashion. We don’t have a death wish so we keep things clean and we make sure that not too much of explosive A gets next to explosive B. If explosive A should catch on fire we could have an extremely bad day.

  Unrelated note – ever Google your name? Found this old article from the base paper. A few spots down I found another link. I don’t live a particularly private life – not many people from my generation do either.

• The wait sucks

  Date: 2009.06.17 | Category: Life as we know it, work | Response: 0

  In 13 hours I will know the results. In 13 hours the results of the job “interview” will be available for all to see. In 13 hours I might be happy or I might be waiting until next year so that I can try again.

  I’m waiting on promotion results to arrive and I’m not sure if I made it. I know what the average cut-off score is for the entire Air Force but I don’t know what the cut-off score is for my career field. I know roughly how well I needed to do on the promotion tests but I have no idea what my actual scores were. The wait sucks…

  Last year I blew my chance by not taking the test seriously. This year, however, I spent a lot of time studying the test material. I can only hope that I studied the right material.

  *crosses fingers*

• The drivers outside are frightful

  Date: 2008.12.20 | Category: Life as we know it | Response: 3

  The weather over the next few days is the last of my worries. What worries me is my need to get around when the roads are full other people. The forecast calls for 6-20 inches of additional snow and we’ve still not seen a snowplow head down our street. The traffic has made a rut in the street down to the pavement but it is hardly an effective method of snow removal. Along with the snow we’re supposed to see sustained winds of 25mph with gusts of up to 90mph. Slippery roads and high winds do not mix. Add people that are unaccustomed to poor driving conditions to the mix and things could get a little hairy.

  In other news – we’re back to three dogs in the back yard. Raisin is back into the mix and she is already wearing out the two boys. The three of them have been having a blast and she has been the catalyst that has gotten them all to play. Lick is a bit of a grouch and Duke is always looking for someone to play with and she wants to play with everyone – whether they choose to play or not. In the past we’ve noticed that Lick has been covered with drool while the other two were completely dry – I have a feeling they were ganging up on him. He needs someone to beat the crap out of him once in a while.

  Jessica and I just came home from the Ammo Christmas party. Last year it was a bit of a drag but this year the tension was down and everybody was in a relatively cheery mood. 70% of the people have been swapped out since the previous party so it was interesting to see all of the new faces. What surprised me the most was the number of children that were under 4. There had to have been at least 10 kids there – my lieutenant asked me when I was going to have kids – I’d have to get hitched to do that.

  We’ve got some cooking to do so we’ve got to trundle off to the store and hope to avoid those that don’t know how to drive but still insist that they do – at 4mph.