Posts Tagged ‘friends’

• A Wild and Crazy Night

  Date: 2009.05.24 | Category: shenanigans | Response: 0

  OK so this all started when John and I decided to go to the Comedy Underground in Seattle. It’s a small intimate comedy club and it was awesome. We got tickets specifically to see Marcus, the runner up from last season’s Last Comic Standing show on NBC.

  We showed up early and got a few drinks. I was driving so I had a beer and a margarita before the show and water after that. John was drinking pretty heavily. We went to out table and it was awesome. I could have spit on the stage. I had never been to a comedy club so it was really cool for me. People started to file in and as I was looking around I noticed that two tables away was an old friend with whom things did not end well. It was a bit awkward. There was a table of four and all night it was hard for us all to not notice each other. I eventually calmed down and tried to enjoy myself. However, I did avoid the bathroom at all costs at the end of the night to avoid the party which was a bad decision considering I had lots of water. Marcus was really funny though and we got to talk to him about being on TV after the show. It was really cool. He wasn’t a fan of NBC and HATES Iliza Shlesinger (the winner of Last Comic Standing)

  Our waitress at the club had some amazing tattoo art and we were curious to see where she got it all done. Turns out her husband did them and has a tattoo parlor right down the block. So on our way back to the car we stopped in to check out his work. As we were looking at his portfolio this woman came into the shop. It was obvious that she was not what you would call normal. She was really thin, open sores and had lots of energy. She was most definitely a crack head. She spotted us looking at the book and came to join us. With every flip of page she got closer and closer until she was touching us both. I didn’t really know what to do and John was still a little drunk so he didn’t seem to care. I shot a look to a guy in the shop and he came over to talk. He asked her what he could do to help her and it seemed to drive her away. Then he looked at me jokingly and said “Were you the one who brought that Chicken head in here?? Billy, girl’s bringing chicken heads into the shop!!” It was funny but just weird!

  We get to the car and head towards Lakewood. My good friend Angel lives in Florida and was bringing her daughter up here to stay with Grandma for the summer. Their plane was getting in at 11:15 PM and they were meeting at the Denny’s by our house at about 12:00AM. We show up and give hugs and instantly go into updating each other on the small details of our lives. We were in the back and there was a glass divider in between us and the front room tables. Just to update you on how things work,  John was facing Angel who was against the glass so he was facing the glass divider. It’s glass so you can see through it. You may be looking at someone but maybe a paranoid person on the other side of the glass might be thinking you are looking at them.

  We are eating and laughing and having a good time when someone walks quickly up to our table. Now, this man is about 5’3″ with long greasy hair, a goatee, with baggy pants and a bright yellow Seattle Sonics tee shirt on. It takes us all a second to realize what’s going on. I think it went something like (ahem),” ARE YOU MAKING EYES AT ME MAN? ARE YOU A FUCKING FAG OR SOMETHING?! I CAN SEE YOU LOOKING AT ME WHILE I’M SITTING AT MY TABLE MAN. ARE YOU GAY? I DON’T LIKE FUCKING QUEERS MAN, I’M NO FAGOT. YOU WANT ME TO KICK YOUR ASS RIGHT NOW MAN? STOP FUCKING HITTING ON ME YOU FUCKING FAGOT!!!!”  All the while he is throwing some sort of gang sings at us. Our  waitress who couldn’t have been more than 19 (and who was probably 7 months pregnant) comes over out of nowhere with ” YOU NEED TO STEP AWAY FROM MY TABLE…NO, NO,NO YOU NEED TO LEAVE MY TABLE ALONE EITHER LEAVE THE TABLE OR LEAVE THE STORE. HMMM MMMMM GET AWAY FROM MY TABLE NOW BROTHA”. Ahhh there is nothing like living in the ghetto…..

  He finaly leaves us alone, gets his to go order and leaves the store. Everyone in the store is watching him to make sure he leaves. We all have our phones out ready to call the cops if he stays in the parking lot. He starts walking along and leaves. We just sat around for 20 minutes in awe of what just happened. Our waitress felt so bad. He had been drinking in the bar all night long and they told him to leave. Seems like he’s a regular. I told her it was ok and the next time we come in to the store John won’t act so gay. We eventaully just laughed it off and left. We went home it was about 2:00am and we both just crashed. It was the stangest night I think I’ve ever had but hell at least no one went to the hospital or jail!

  Johns note: I was confused during the entire altercation with the idiot – it takes a little while for me to get riled up as I’m an easy going guy. I think I just stared at him like he was an crazy person when he started yelling. I’m glad he didn’t do anything stupid because I might have done something stupid… and that would have been bad. Jessica thought that last night was a crazy night. Almost every night that I have been out has had some brand of craziness – I don’t think I’ve ever had an incident free evening…. ever. Rarely do I get yelled at for my homo tendancies…. I think it was because I was wearing a shirt with buttons and I had had a haircut in the past three years. I was also sitting with a table of women – that makes me a dead ringer for a homo. He was jealous as he rocked his Jesus-esque haircut while wearing a shirt without buttons. I guess I was far too fashion forward for him… buttons – they were buttons for crying out loud. Take heed everyone – burn your shirts with buttons now or you could get accused of making gay advances. (I’ve got nothing against the gays in the world but you should mix it up and wear t-shirts once in a while so that the rest of us don’t get grouped in with you. )

• What has happened?

  Date: 2009.05.17 | Category: Life as we know it | Response: 0

  There was a point in time where I would spend hours looking for something that interested me. I would spend days on the internet trying to stay entertained and I would share much of what I found here, at this blog. Lately, however, I’ve found that life outside the internet is far more fulfilling and entertaining.

  Work has kept me relatively busy but I still don’t find much job satisfaction. My job has seldom been mentally demanding and I spend much of my time putting out small fires (not literal fires as fires around explosives usually leads to blown up people). I know that I could be doing more but unfortunately there isn’t much more for me at my current job. Its a rinse, wash, and repeat job and its gotten tedious. I have been stationed here for two years and as of next January this will be my longest single assignment. I really like the area around the base and the base itself – I just don’t like my particular job function. It does keep me busy – so busy that I can’t get a chance to write on this blog – then again, the wonderful BlueCoat filters have been cranked up a notch so I can no longer access my blog from work. Huuzah!

  I’m on a bit of a health kick right now so I’ve been planning my meals in advance and have been cooking two meals at a time. The planning and preparation takes quite a bit of time. Its a structured diet so I can’t eat exactly what I want – most of what I eat is rather bland. If only I could find a repository of quick and healthy meals that fit in with my current diet plan. The plan restructures in another two weeks so by the time I get it all figured out it will be time to change gears again.

  I also have a new workout routine that I takes 6-7 hours out of my week. I workout at the end of my day and it drains me of all of my remaining energy. It’s quite demanding but I really like the change. There is some yoga in it and this brand of yoga is not for the faint of heart. This stuff is intense.

  I’m working on a math class – something I should be doing right now instead of writing but I’m putting it off for just a little longer. I’m behind the power curve and I need to knock it out this week. It’s nose to the grind stone time.

  Jessica has been working fewer hours this past month. She hasn’t been cut in hours, she is simply no longer working any overtime. Her work is broken down into a couple of different segments and this particular one is the slower part of the year.

  We’ve been trying to get out of the house more often and we did just that yesterday. My college roommate and his wife-to-be (a former neighbor from down the street) were making a swing through the Pacific NW while on vacation. We acted as tour guides on Saturday and took them around Seattle. We rarely go to Seattle so it was nice to see some of the sights. We went to the Crab Pot for dinner and they literally dumped a bucket of cooked ocean on our table. They invited one of their friends to join us – he was another one of my neighbors while I was growing up. I guess he had been living in the local area the entire time I had been here. Small world huh?

  So – if you come to this blog and are hoping for tidbits of my life I’ll try to get them here. I’ve got more pressing matters to deal with at the time – if you have Facebook you’re bound to see a little more from me there… but not much more. I’m a busy guy.